Profanity most commonly used by stupid f***ing twats says new f***ing research

SHROPSHIRE. New research published today by the linguistics department at the University Of Shropshire has provided further evidence that those who most commonly use profanity are really just stupid fucking idiots. “Frequent use of profanity, and in particular, strong sexual swear words, is really a habit that we are most likely to finds amongst twats and fucking arseholes”, explained Dr. Nero Sparboom, associate Professor of Linguistics at Shropshire since 1996. “We looked at the kind of people who swore, and decided we really didn’t like them or their stupid fucking faces at all.”

When challenged on his own liberal use of expletives, Dr Sparboom was unrepentant. “My research suggests most swearing is done by stupid goddamn fuckwits”, he explained. “I don’t think my own use of swear words contradicts that theory – if anything, I think it supports it.” As evidence that he really is a total fucking pillock and a complete waste of fucking space, Dr Sparboom pointed us to his academic record, which sure enough is a total fucking embarrassment and reveals what a fucking joke the man really is.

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