WESTMINSTER. Scandal once again engulfed the Labour Government today, following a series of increasingly sordid revelations about the Secretary of State for Transport, Lord Adonis. Documents released this morning by classical scholars at the University of Shropshire implicated Adonis in a series of bizarre events stretching back thousands of years.
The new research, which apparently took the researchers as long as 30 minutes to compile – using a combination of Google and Wikipedia – details how Adonis’ mother turned into a tree, (from which Adonis himself came forth); how he spent time as the lover of greek goddess Aphrodite; and how he is able to act as a member of Her Majesty’s Government despite having been killed while hunting wild boar.
For his part, Lord Adonis insisted it was simply a case mistaken identity, and that he “not the Adonis you are looking for.” Lord Mandelson was also quick to leap to the defence of The Adonis, saying that the whole thing was “a fabrication cooked up by the Conservatives, no doubt in league with Persephone, who wish to take Adonis to the Underworld, and keep him for themselves for all eternity.”
